Hello people and welcome to your favourite section on TNC; “By the Numbers”. LOL…you know what’s funny? Toolsman or Reni probably used this same tag line on Monday Rush, Terdoh and I probably use it on ROUNDS and it just makes you wonder who decided that any section is your favourite? I mean, on what basis is our decision founded? Ignore me please, that’s food for thought and not our discourse for today.
What are we looking at today? Last week, I was discussing with my guys about women and how special they are. Now don’t think that every time I’m gathered with my men, all we talk about is women. Don’t be silly, we talk about more important things like boobs or ass? Natural or plastic? And even more world critical issues like must she be able to pound?
This Saturday though, we were muddled in front of the TV watching E! (No, it’s not like we tuned the station to E! It just so happens that the remote was far and we couldn’t be bothered). So yeah, there on the screen was “Keeping up with the Kardashians” (I swear, I can explain, we weren’t really watching), in this episode, Kanye was about to propose to Kim and I’m sure you know how that went.
Just in case you don’t know, he rented out this massive stadium, got a live orchestra type band to play, brought out the ginormous rock and then went down on one knee to propose. Do you think she said no?
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Now I know that you might not be ready to propose but hey, you don’t prepare for battles on the day of war. No problems learning about this upfront so sit back relax and learn ok?
- Know your woman: . . . Some of us guys do not know the person we are in a relationship with. Now, you think we do, but you have absolutely no idea. You feel like “Hey! I know she loves the colour red, loves fashion and her favourite food is ewa agoyin and yam so yeah, I have her pretty much figured out” No sir, you don’t. Here’s proof: 1. Where’s her dream restaurant? 2. When she thinks of her wedding day, where is it holding? 3. Is there anyone she never wants to see in her life? Pretty deep yeah, not really. Guys, its necessary you learn as much about that lady as you can. The importance of communication cannot be over-emphasized.
- Be yourself: There’s a certain belief that you must put up a front to please women. Nah, this is complete bollocks. The thing is; when you know the type of woman you’re with, you easily understand how to please her. Women have high sensitivities and touching their heart is a thing of words and actions. If you can be naked and unashamed before her ( No you dweeb, I’m not talking pre-sex,) then your work is almost done. Be as real with her as you can. Think Kim and Kanye didn’t know of each other’s raunchy pasts? Come clean about stuff and don’t pretend to be who/what you’re not.
- The experience: One major killer of relationships is stereotypes and clichés. You have to constantly add flavour to your union. Can you imagine cooking Indomie without the seasoning or any other additives? Whether you’re proposing or just keeping the relationship going, constantly switch things up. Not every day white house amala, sometimes amala shitta. And this thing of kneeling down to propose in clubs, lounges etc, who says that has to be you? What happened to proposing while in the cinema? No not during a movie abeg. Like, rent out the screening room for like 20 minutes, have a pre-recorded video/picture screening, just you both and then yeah…pay me for the rest abeg. Consultation isn’t free.
- Now let’s talk about the ring: A wise man once said “diamonds are a woman’s best friend” but I beg to disagree, these days, women are more in love with ORIGINAL Chanel bags and such. Please note that there is a prefix “original” so don’t think that N5000 bag is what I’m referring to. But yeah, you still have to get a ring. After all Kanye’s serenre, he still had to present a rock, now imagine if he brought out a book or Brazilian hair, Take time to know what she likes; not everyone loves white gold, some hate pure gold, you have to know these things. What’s her finger size? Yes, oversize rings are such an annoying thing cos she’ll spend more time not wearing it. So do your research my man, and give her the ring SHE wants, not the one you think she can manage.
- I left number 5 for you guys, go ahead, share with us in the comment box. If you’ve ever imagined proposing to the woman you love someday, what do you think you’ll need to learn before then. For the ladies, tell us just what you expect from the boo the day he decides to propose.
P:S I’m not proposing o. I repeat, I am not.
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