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#BRIDE_PRICE:
BY: Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie.
Bride Price or Dowry?
AFRICA CONFUSING AND DECEIVING AFRICANS.
My view:
Is no longer news that the literary new generation writer and Africa novelist CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE has publicly came out to say that : "BRIDE PRICE IS DISGUSTING".
True to the fact we are very entitled to our opinion and freedom but not without a clause or limitations. As your right begins when the other persons right ends.
Dear CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE I kindly disagree with you totally irrespective of which ever school of thought that might have instigated or motivated your opinion.
Indirectly from your assertion dear, suffice me to conclude that marriage could also be said to be disgusting to you.
Hope this confusion you have continued to transmit from the white mans land doesn't doesn't lead more of our AFRICA young women astray.
Your feminist activism need to be defined and a clear cut agenda stipulated to help your co feminist who follow you understand in clear terms your exact drive on feminism. You can't keep winning new and losing old feminists by each of your public outburst.
That said, BRIDE PRICE OR DOWRY thou always used interchangeably to mean the other are two different ancient marriage symbolic practices. As old as man if you like. They a are not the same and each has its symbolism in the sanctity of marriage.
I will briefly explain the difference at the end of this article.
You are happily married and your bride price was paid. Guess your marriage is not disgusting, else you would have walked out by now. What defines a happy home? Many variables I can tell you. What guarantees a successful marriage? Not bride price of course neither does it define a disgusting marriage. What disgust you may not disgust another depending on culture, background, training, academic exposure, society, environment etc.
Is a general statement taken too far, carelessly made to confuse and disintegrate people against another.
If 1kobo was paid as your bride price how does that affect the girl next door?
If 1kobo was paid as your bride price how does that guarantee acceptability by your own very Husband.
The true worth of a woman is not in the amount paid as her bride price but in the wealth of experience through training and blessings she carries from her fathers House to her husbands House. Hence why I may still need to clear your confusion and misplacement of BRIDE PRICE AND DOWRY.
If truly there is reason for everything, then I can confidently tell you that the reason for the institution of paying bride price was never as monetary merchandise. In the good old days, families exchange brides to keep old family relationships. Families simply exchange gifts, eat and merry and that was it. Today that has been overtaken by events.
Bride price symbolism is a of egotistical negotiations based on family, culture, people, society, period and believe. Bride price is the inestimable and invaluable worth of a woman she exports from her fathers house to her husbands house. Note, bride price, the true worth is known only to the woman and her God (her chi). Hence why in the good old days virgins have higher bride price paid on their behalf.
Bride price also are like the bragging rights of the bridegroom. Another symbolism was as an avenue for bridegroom's to prove their worth as suitor capable of manning the responsibility of taking care of a home by providing and protecting his wife and family. Do you know the origin of the Igbo saying, "OKORO ELUGHI ELU NWEE WALU OGODU,IKUKU BURU YA OBURU OGODUYA"? I will tell you later.
The world has really evolved, many things are not right, yes no doubt, but that is not enough to say that our forefathers that worshipped idols, lived in huts, survived on herbs, walked about in rags were stupid and disgusting.
There is high moral decadence in our society today, yes, I bet you, bride price is not the problem, our family institutions have failed. A society is the reflection of the kind of family values it preaches and breeds.
How do well all fix our failed old values should be the question not scrapping BRIDE PRICE. Your interpretation of bride price as disgusting is flawed interpretation and biased point of view by mere scratching the surface.
How do you relate your 1kobo bride price to the real events, merry and family visitations before the D day?
How do you relate your 1kobo bride price to the logistics associated with the full traditional rites of a valid traditional marriage?
How do you relate your 1kobo bride price to amount spent by both families in the preparation of the marriage rites?
How disgusting will your 1koba bride price be if on the D day the caterer disappointed and did not show up and your guests went home hungry? I can go on and on.
The cultural anthropological term for the institution of bride price rites may have evolved with the society but not to say it has lost its value intoto. I disagree totally.
Misogynistic practice is or should be based more on the loss of social values.
Note, in India, women pay groomprice. Should that. Scrapped also or do we also import it down too? Western culture supports easy and comfortable human association, that they can quietly walk into and out of any union without disturbing the next door neighborhood. Unfortunately same cannot be said of the society from who h we came from.
Before now, women don't inherit property both from their fathers house and husband house, that is history now. See UKEJE V. UKEJE and ors. That was not achieved by loud careless feminist statements.
How do marriages succeed more than bride price scrapping should be the bone of contention.
No man can pay the worth of any worthy wife, hence behind every successful man there must be a good, loving and supportive wife or woman.
Our women are not rags to be given out or offloaded on the alter of feminism against market merchandise of bride price.
We must go back to our root to rediscover our lost cultural values and arm the society with the symbolism of our cultural practises that assured and guaranteed longevity of life and sanctity of the marriage institution.
In conclusion, bride price is the money or property the bridegroom and his family offers to the brides family in exchange for the bride and as a mark of suitability of the groom as a provider. Then, Dowry is the wealth, property or values a woman brings to her husband house to aid the beginning of the new home. Note, a man can pay a pride price of 20,000 to the brides family and the bride ends up bringing a dowry of 1,000,000.
Thank you.
C.O.N.
Goodmorning!
(Typo error humbly apologized )
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